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Research shows that more males than females use chat rooms, said Mileham, who found it difficult to get women to respond to her survey.Females are usually bombarded with messages and can pick and choose which messages they respond to, she said."I'm not going to cheat," wrote one married man.

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Said one such man, "While I'm on the computer my wife just assumes I'm writing a report for work." Another man said his wife, who knew what he was doing and didn't like it, looked over his shoulder sometimes while he was typing, Mileham said.

Much of the Internet's appeal to married people is the anonymity it guarantees, coupled with the no-touching aspect, which they view as a license to be sexual, Mileham said.

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One can reveal the most intimate emotional and sexual details to an unseen stranger at any time of the day or night, she said.

Several participants indicated they divulged more about themselves to online partners than to their wives or husbands.

1 complaint from men was lack ​of sex in the marriage," Mileham said.

"Many of them said their wife was so involved in childrearing that she wasn't interested in having sex." Because there is no touching involved in online chat conversations, married people often rationalize their behavior as harmless fun, Mileham said.

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