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It’s been five years since I first wrote about this topic and going swimming with your kids, but I continue to receive emails and comments about that post. “Running on the beach with you and Daddy.” With you.I decided it was time to revisit why I believe we women should wear a swimsuit – with some new and old thoughts. Gave you the strength to carry that beach ball for 9 months, then walk with life hanging on your hips for years after. A few weeks after that beach trip, I found out I was pregnant. Last weekend, I put on my swimsuit, looked at myself in the mirror and took a deep breath. But it looks more like too many potato chips than a baby.

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Or they go to the beach, but stay under the umbrella instead of running into the ocean. Because when women stay on the sidelines because of insecurity, we are modeling unhealthy behavior to our children and we are missing out. I wanted to have fun and make memories at that pool.

That night, I asked Elias what his favorite part of being at the beach was and you know what he said?

When Michelle Phillips and Denny Doherty spoke on January 18, they did as they’d done for 40 years: “We made it a point to keep things very professional and not … ’ ”The Mamas and the Papas had always remained a family—a shadow of the old, clamorous family, to be sure (“It was two and a half years of total melodrama,” Michelle fondly recalls), but touchingly close, even through the decades of Sturm und Drang that postdated their breakup.

slip back,” Michelle says in that arch, bemused way of hers. Denny was about to undergo surgery for an abdominal aneurysm, and she’d called with moral support, her reliable compassion delivered with its usual frankness. Early on, their ranks had been thinned from four to three (in 1974, Cass Elliot died, at a tragically young 32, of a heart attack); then, much later, from three to two: in 2001, John Phillips, 65, finally succumbed, after decades of drinking and drugs, to heart failure.

I refuse to let other women’s judging eyes at the pool prevent me from exposing their eyes to the wonder the sun glittering on the water.

I refuse to let my self-image influence my children’s. Your child will remember those moments and your freedom – not how you looked in your swimming suit. I am so thankful that this post has encouraged so many women to wear their swimsuit! To check out my new book, The Fringe Hours: Making Time for You, click here.

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